Man, I haven't posted in quite awhile!
Because writing is soothing and relieving for me, I could blog every single day. However, I wanted to make sure this blog was focused on our adoption journey so I haven't had much to post about lately. As most of you know, we were "active" with our agency on June 1st. It's crazy to think it's been 8 months so far! Unfortunately, it's been pretty quiet on the adoption front the past few months. We haven't heard from our agency at all. This doesn't necessarily mean no one looked at our profile, but it means that no one made the decision to meet us or choose us.
Also, as many of you know, I use social media to put our name out there and try to "self match." Self matching means that I would find an expectant mother on my own and match with her. We would always hope that she would want to work with our agency as we think they are outstanding and very supportive but, she wouldn't have to. We have received messages on Facebook from several expectant mothers, wanting to know more about us, more about the process, etc. Quite a few of the expectant mothers haven't necessarily chosen adoption yet, but are maybe considering it or thinking about it. So now you're thinking - what IS it like to speak to a woman who is pregnant and who may choose you to parent her child?? Well - REALLY REALLY SCARY is how it feels! I am constantly thinking about what to say, how to say it, when to say it, etc. It's almost like dating! I can't imagine how nervous the expectant mother on the other side feels - it's awkward and amazing and scary and nerve-wracking all in one.
Although it's been amazing to speak to several women, our discussions haven't gone much past a couple of days or weeks. This never makes me mad, or upset, because the expectant mother has the biggest decision of their life to make. Even though it doesn't upset me - it is emotional. It's a part of the journey that I wasn't expecting or thinking about. Another part of the journey that I wasn't ready for. A part of the journey that has me thinking "what was it about me?" "I wish I knew all the right things to say."
I still have faith that it will happen when it's supposed to happen. But - some days - it feels like it's been eternity. For 8 months straight I've been glued to my phone, to my e-mail, to my Facebook. Life can change so quickly - it will be one phone call, one text, one message. I pray that we will be the right fit for some amazing expectant momma to trust us that we will care for and love her baby forever.
Thank you to our family and friends for all the prayers, thoughts and sweet messages. You mean the world to us.