As I laid in bed two nights ago, restless, I said to myself - "I can't wait for Friday!" It's been a stressful week and I have a fun-filled weekend coming up. Then, I started thinking about the weeks to come and other fun that's planned and I kept wishing for time to move quicker to get to those times.
As I laid there, I then got to thinking about the adoption. I thought - gosh, I wish it was here already. I wish someone had picked us and I wish that my baby was sleeping next to me. I thought about this for a few minutes and finally fell asleep.
Time is so precious. Last night, I laid in bed again. For some reason, Zach popped in my head. For those of you that don't know, my step-sister, Brittany's husband, Zach passed away a few months ago, suddenly. Ever since he passed away, I think of him often. Isn't it weird how things like that happen? I didn't know Zach well and I didn't spend much time with him - but he obviously made an impact on my life. It's sad to think some of these things are realized after people are gone. As I was thinking about Zach, I thought, I wonder if he ever wished time away? I'm sure he did. We all do. But - if you knew you only had so much time left with those you loved - would you wish it away? I don't think so. The thing about Zach is that if he did ever wish time away - he sure didn't show it. His love for every breath he took and each moment he lived shined right through him. Zach - thank you for this. You've inspired me.
Time is so precious. It truly is one of those things that you will never get back. This entire adoption journey is truly that - a journey. This process of waiting for our beautiful child to come along is a part of the journey. It's a part that I want to remember and that I want to be able to talk about with other people. It's a part that I want to be able to explain to my child someday. I don't want to tell them that I was so excited that I missed that time in my life. I was sooooo excited and wishing the time away that I forgot to enjoy the little moments, to have fun preparing, to spend time with my amazing family and friends....
Time is SO precious. I think about my sweet goddaughter and sissy that I get to spend so much time with. I know for a fact that once Ryan and I have a baby, that will change that time. Nothing will ever get in the way of our relationship but, like everything else, it will be different. In the moments I have with them now, I need to enjoy and cherish every single moment. I think about all of the alone time Ryan and I get to spend together. Taking weekend trips up north or just sitting on the couch watching a movie. These are the moments I need to slow down and cherish. Even when I think about my weekdays - I work, go home, eat and work out. I need to cherish these moments! The chance and time I have for myself to go and work out is precious. I can't keep wishing it away.
Time is precious. It truly is. While it's so easy to wish for the weekend, or for that next trip, or....for a sweet baby, I am going to try and remember to slow down and enjoy those moments. Even if I can't wait until they are filled with bottles, cuddles and baby kisses :)